Mother's Day in a broken world

Mother’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to give a beautiful expression of love and appreciation for the women in our lives who gave birth to us, raised us, and nurtured us in God’s design for family. We also celebrate other mothers around us, including wives, grandmothers, daughters, sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, and friends.

But in a broken world, Mother’s Day is often filled with complicated emotions that bring angst, tension, and even tears for men, women, and children alike. Some grieve a well-loved mother whose absence casts the day in a shadow of grief. Some grieve the abandonment of a mother still living, but physically absent. Some grieve over a mother who is physically present, but emotionally absent or even abusive. Some grieve the loss of young children or estrangement of adult children. Some grieve the unfulfilled dream of becoming a mother themselves.

What’s the purpose?

When your mothering circumstances are complicated, the day can often be plagued by guilt, grieving, and gloom. Every decision can feel plagued by self-doubt. Should you go or not? Should you call or send a card? Did you pick the right gift? The right restaurant? The right card? Inevitably, someone always ends up hurt somehow, especially other family members who try to fill in the gap but feel they can never do enough or be enough to make up for the loss you feel.

Many long to enjoy the holiday, but in a world of comparison, they believe the lie that what others do for them on Mother’s Day is a report card of their mothering. Moms often expect husbands and children to read their minds to know exactly what they would want as evidence of relational closeness. If it’s social media swoon-worthy, that must mean you’re a great mom who deserves such treatment. If not, it must mean you’re a failure and unworthy of love or recognition.

For single moms, it can be easy to feel the weight of everything you carry alone with no one there to orchestrate a grand gesture of recognition. This day can bring discouragement and amplify your inner fears and struggles.

Why does this matter?

Here’s a reality check. No matter the circumstance, we can always choose an attitude of gratitude. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, we read, “In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

What can you be grateful for this Mother’s Day?

If you have a faithful mother who loves you well, express your gratitude with lavish words of praise! If you don’t, how can you pay tribute to the women in your life who mothered you in the moments you needed it?

If you’re grieving loss, how can you honor maternal memory with gratitude for a gift so great it’s worth grieving?

If you’re feeling the loss of a husband to bear witness to your labor of love as a mother, how can you find gratitude for those who love you enough to stand in the gap and support you?

Mother’s Day does not demand that you ignore or gloss over the complicated emotions you may feel. Mothering stories are tender and deeply personal, and so much of what shapes them is beyond your control. Yet even here, you are invited into a gentle choice of whom you will celebrate and how you will show gratitude on this day.

From a place of being deeply known and loved by God, you can choose to reflect His love to others with grace and grit and gratitude for the mothers in your life whose faithful service has pointed you toward the love of Christ.

You are seen and known and deeply loved by God.

Happy Mother’s Day!