Homes that transform culture

Mothers have a unique sphere of influence in which they can create lasting impact and change culture starting with the core unit of society – the family.

Jennifer Pepito, wife and homeschool mother of seven, supports this claim in her book titled Habits for a Sacred Home: 9 Practices from History to Anchor and Restore Modern Families. She explores historical, faith-based practices that can restore the home and transform culture as women undertake the daily tasks of raising children and caring for their families.

A society in crisis

“In many ways, we are in a fight for the soul of the family,” Pepito told The Stand. “Marxist ideology that is absolutely anti-Christian and anti-family has taken hold in culture.”

According to Pepito, many Christians do not realize that Marxist ideologies are deeply rooted in institutions of American society and that these ideologies dismiss traditional concepts of family stability.

“When talking about order, like having a loving family, fighting to save a marriage, children honoring their parents, wives loving and honoring their husbands, and husbands loving their wives – these things are [seen as] somewhat radical now,” she stated. “There’s been such an attack on traditional values that people don’t even recognize the need for children to feel safe in the authority structure of their parents. It’s almost unpopular to teach your children to obey you.”

In the first chapter of her book, Pepito addresses this societal crisis into which Christians have fallen – either unknowingly or through lack of initiative.

“We are now seeing the results as our culture comes untethered from its Christian moorings and tries to find its way without any shared or timeless values. Suicide and depression are epidemic, 23% of children are growing up in single-parent homes, and our society has fractured into tribes that argue over health care, the environment, sexuality, and education,” Pepito writes.

In the book, she further describes how looking to the examples of historical Christian figures and following foundational Christian disciplines can turn the home into a sacred space that will counteract and bring to light the negative influences in culture.

The sacred home

“I think sometimes people hear that word sacred and think, ‘In my home, there’s dirty diapers, and I don’t know what to make for dinner, and the laundry is overflowing; there’s nothing sacred about my home,’” Pepito said. “But sacred just means, as Christians, our homes are consecrated to God. And it’s not our work that makes them sacred. It’s the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. But there are things that we can do to partner with God – habits that make more space for God to move in our homes.”

While the book focuses on what Pepito describes as the Benedictine Rule, the principles she discusses are timeless virtues that correlate with a Christian lifestyle, such as prayer, work, hospitality, and stewardship.

“I look back at women like Ruth Bell Graham or Edith Schaeffer or Elisabeth Elliot – great Christian women who exemplified some of these traditions,” Pepito explained.

While considering how famous Christian women of history transformed not only their homes and families but also the culture around them, Pepito reflects on simple ways that every woman in every home can make a difference in the daily lives of her family members.

Value of work

The foundational step to building a sacred home and a transformational family culture is by embracing the value of work.

“So much of Christianity has been influenced by the idea that life is all about personal fulfillment, personal happiness,” Pepito said. “So, in the book, I prioritized the first habit as learning a lifestyle of work: learning to do the work of praying for your family, learning to do the work of loving your children.”

As a mother of children who are now ages 17 to 32, Pepito recognizes that it may feel hard to find time to connect with children who seem independently focused on outward pursuits.

“Loving your family doesn’t always have to be a big production,” Pepito said. “It can just be the simplest of ways: When your kids walk into the room, look at them with a smile on your face and help them see how much you enjoy and delight in them. I think those simple things are a big part of what builds a happy family.”

God-centered lifestyle

Another element of bringing sacredness into the home is for mothers (and fathers alike) to live – in front of their children – a lifestyle that portrays the constant presence of God, the enjoyment of Him, and a relationship with Him.

“We are called to repair the breaches of culture, and we do this through inviting God into every area of our lives,” Pepito said. “Daily habits like reading the Psalms together, praying, and sharing meals around the table are inherently Christian because they reflect God’s love for people and our love for God.”

Pepito points to Deuteronomy 6:7 (ESV) when it comes to continuously teaching and representing the things of God to children: “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

“If we can follow that model where we immerse ourselves in Scripture, talking about what God would say, reading Christian books, playing Christian music – whether while doing dishes or driving kids to school or folding clothes – then I think it’s hard for our children to not love Jesus when they grow up in a home where He’s so obviously a present comfort to the adults in that home,” Pepito said. “For example, my children know that God is my refuge, my ‘ever-present help in trouble,’ as it says in Psalm 46:1 (NIV). And, so, it’s not a big leap for them to also experience God as their refuge.”

Future hope

As a former missionary who spent time living “off the grid,” Pepito fully acknowledges the challenges mothers may face – ones that can lead to burnout and discouragement.

“I’ve been in that season, and I understand how taxing and intense family life can be,” Pepito admitted. “Hebrews 12:2 talks about how Jesus, for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross. And Jesus calls us to look to Him, the Author of our faith. Looking to the future that we have in Jesus can help us endure some of the hardships of the moment.

“We need to be more focused on the hope of the future,” she added.

For example, Pepito explained how she put in the effort of loving and enjoying her children when they were young, and now, as adults, they love and enjoy her.

“So, that is part of the joy set before you,” she said. “We can’t guarantee the outcome for our children. But we have opportunities, as modern families, to save civilization through the work of preserving Christian families.”