Breaking the cycle, rewriting their future

Young people in foster care often age out of the system at 18, leaving them to face an uncertain future. Seventy-one percent of girls who exit foster care experience an unplanned pregnancy within the first year. Eighty-one percent of boys who age out get arrested, usually for “survival crimes,” meaning lower-level or property crimes committed in order to meet basic needs. On average, only about 3% to 6% of youth aging out of the system will complete their educational goals. Many become homeless, isolated, and forgotten.

These findings are reported by Connections Homes (connectionshomes.org). Founded in 2014 by Pam Parish, this organization aims to connect young adults aging out of the foster system with families who mentor them as they transition into adulthood. It is through the Connections Homes program called Don’t Go Alone (DGA) that these mentor families are trained and matched with former foster youth. The purpose is to break destructive cycles and help these young people gain a firm foothold in adult life.

Since its inception, the program has expanded into five different states, impacting the lives of hundreds of youth.

The forgotten youth

Ariel Kraft serves as the local program director for DGA in San Antonio, Texas, which is an initiative of the South Texas Alliance for Orphans – a network of churches and Christians that advocates for child welfare. Kraft and her husband, Mike, are foster and adoptive parents. After adopting their daughter from Uganda and then becoming licensed foster parents, she felt the call to advocate for youth who fall through the cracks of the system.

“I was at the CAFO (Christian Alliance for Orphans) Conference, where I attended a workshop featuring Pam Parish, who was talking about Don’t Go Alone,” Kraft told The Stand. “When I found out that they were matching 18- to 25-year-olds with permanent mentoring families, I thought, ‘This is it! This is what we have to have in
San Antonio.’”

Kraft said the rate of youth aging out of foster care in Bexar County, where San Antonio is located, is disproportionately high, representing about half of the total for the entire state of Texas. She explained how the Lord was faithful to open every necessary door so that DGA could be implemented in the area.

“The Lord … confirmed over and over that this was His will,” Kraft said. “We launched in January of 2025 and matched our first young adult and family in May of that year, and we’ve matched 22 young adults with families since then.”

A hopeless cycle

However, without support from programs such as DGA, young adults aging out of the foster care system often find themselves alone, without necessary adult skills, and in a constant state of survival mode.

“If they officially age out and leave the state’s support in any way, they are completely on their own,” Kraft explained. “They can turn to a housing program, shelters, or friends they may have, but many become homeless,” while others attempt going back to a biological family member who’s willing to take them in. “But, of course, this ends up negatively influencing them, because those are usually people who were part of the reason they entered the system in the first place.”

Drug use and substance abuse also hinder these young people as they attempt to navigate life outside of the foster system. Often formed early on while in foster care, such habits are a means of coping with trauma and will follow young adults as they exit.

“Most young adult women are pregnant within the first year of aging out,” Kraft continued. “At least half of the babies born to those girls go back into foster care within two years. So, the cycle just keeps continuing.”

A prayerful process

To break the cycle, DGA uses a rigorous, prayerful matchmaking process to connect a young person who has left the foster system with a permanent mentoring family. Kraft said it is important that these young people feel seen and valued by the DGA team as the process begins.

“We usually get in touch with them through community partners,” she explained. “I always want to spend one-on-one time with them and let them know what our goal is and give them the chance to share their own story with me.

“It is important that this does not feel like just another part of the system that they came out of, but something personal,” Kraft added.

Once the young person feels ready to be matched with a mentoring family, he or she completes a survey so the team can create a profile. This profile is then shared with potential families who have been trained and vetted beforehand. If a family feels as if they are a good fit for the young person, they express their interest. The profiles of all interested families are shared with the young person, who can then choose which family he or she would like to be matched with. This process is covered in prayer from start to finish.

“After that, we facilitate an in-person meeting,” explained Kraft. “We have a written commitment that the families make to their young adults that they sign in front of them and that they get to keep. I read it out loud to the young adults because it’s sweet and beautiful what the families are committing to. Then we talk about expectations and what this relationship is going to look like, and if they have some ideas for how they might want to get started. We also provide 12 months of intensive support for the relationship to ensure that things are going well.”

The perfect match

According to Kraft, over the past decade, DGA has helped match hundreds of young people with permanent mentor families. As a result of being matched to a family, less than 1% of the young men have had negative interactions with the law, less than 5% of the young women have experienced an unplanned pregnancy, and 93% of the young people are pursuing their educational goals.

Kraft shared the story of a young man who was matched with a mentor family, and how the impact of that relationship changed more lives than was expected.

“The mentor family immediately started having this young man and his younger brother over for weekly dinner and game nights,” she said. “Soon, they helped his brother find stable housing, earn his GED, and get his own phone. Because of their kindness and care, he was able to move into his own apartment and enroll in a diploma completion program. [It was] a complete 180-degree change in his life.”

However, DGA does not claim to be the end-all solution to the aging-out crisis. Instead, it focuses on alleviating isolation through redemptive connection. Kraft and her team believe that it is ordinary people who are used by God to break cycles of isolation and heal generational wounds. This can mean the difference between a young person being trapped in a repeating cycle of hopelessness … and instead finding the grace, connection, and support to rewrite their future.