A Whole Lot of Love

“Love is patient. Love is kind.”

Those six words looked me dead in the face as I folded towels.

Five years ago, a close friend gave me a plain white cotton tea towel as a wedding gift. On it are these words mentioned above, found in 1 Corinthians 13:4.

For a moment as I looked at these words, I remembered the days of wedding planning, bridal showers, and the excitement of starting a new life with my soon-to-be husband. Then, the dinner alarm and dryer buzzer brought me back to the present.

When we first got married, I wanted these “cutesy” towels to be just for decoration or for hanging on the stove handle.

That didn’t last very long.

Like most people, my husband saw this kitchen towel and others like it and started using them to scrub counters, clean the stove, and wipe up cooking spills. After all, a towel is a towel, right? Isn’t that what it’s for?

But when I looked at that towel last night, I couldn’t help but notice all the stains. After everything we’ve put it through, it’s worn out. Somehow, there’s even a small burn hole in it. What used to be white and clean is now covered in messes.

Marriage can be like that too.

This weekend, my husband and I will celebrate five years of marriage. I know that might not seem like much to some, but it’s hard to believe how quickly time has passed since we promised to love each other for the rest of our lives.

In these five years, we’ve moved, welcomed our first baby, gone through a miscarriage, and faced many other ups and downs. Now, we’re in the last weeks of another pregnancy, and we can’t wait to meet our youngest son.

But with maintaining our health, changing work schedules, keeping up the house, managing money, raising kids, and trying to care for our loved ones to the best of our abilities, things can get tough. In all this chaos, it’s sometimes overwhelming to always choose selfless love for each other.

Don’t get me wrong.

Marriage is the best gift. Yet, the thing about making a marriage work is that no matter how in love we are – it is still the union of two sinners who are tasked with serving each other daily.

The more time has passed since my wedding day, perhaps like many of you seasoned couples, the more I can understand the picture of love given to us in 1 Corinthians 13 – and how important it is to try to follow it.

Loving someone, flaws and all, isn’t easy.

If we’re not careful, we can fall into the self-centered kind of “love” the world talks about, where when things get tough, it’s easier to choose bitterness, arrogance, and entitlement instead of grace.

Here’s how worldly love and Christ-centered love can sound different:

“The dishes still aren’t done.”

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant (1 Corinthians 13:4).

“I did something for you. I expect the same thing or more.”

[Love] does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered (1 Corinthians 13:5).

“I made a mistake, but at least I didn’t do what you did.”

[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:6-7).

Scripture is clear.

When it comes to loving others, especially our spouses, we are called to serve – and to do so with joy in our hearts. In fact, Ephesians 5 shows us that this calling is of the utmost importance. It teaches us that wives are to submit to their husbands. Meanwhile, those same husbands are called to love their wives as much as Christ loved the church – and that is a whole lot of love!

Christ-centered love, like what’s described in 1 Corinthians 13, is the best gift we can give our spouses and families.

Imagine how much better our lives could be if we chose patience, kindness, honor, and goodness in our relationships.

To make matters even better, when things get hard, this is the only kind of love that truly lasts.