Boy to Man Book, Chapter 16: Dating: how far can you go?
A young man always treats his dates with honor; a boy doesn’t.
Something you should always remember is that the chances are pretty good you are not going to marry the girl you happen to be dating at the moment. One of the things I told my son: this means you are dating a girl who one day is going to be another man's wife. Treat her accordingly.
The corollary is that somebody else right now may be dating the woman who one day will be your wife. How do you want him to treat her? That's how you should treat every girl you date. Don't do anything with her, or to her, that you would not want the guy who right now is dating your future wife to do with her.
As far as physical involvement in dating is concerned, I believe there is one rule you need to remember. Now I went to seminars when I was in college where we got advice about where our hands could go, what kind of kissing was allowed, and what kind of physical expression was permitted. It all got pretty complicated. There’s a better and simpler way.
Back in the day, the United States had what we called the Distance Early Warning system. It was a radar system designed to alert us to a Russian military launch over the North Pole. It was for our protection so we could stop bad things from happening before it was too late.
As a mentor of mine pointed out to me when I was single, God has given to young men an absolutely infallible warning system that lets a guy know without fail when it's time to stop. That infallible biological signal is sexual arousal.
As soon as you find yourself becoming sexually aroused, you need to stop whatever it is you're doing, even if it's just holding hands, to keep things from escalating. And make up your mind that you won't do whatever that thing is again until you get married.
When a dating couple gets sexually involved, their relationship instantly stops developing and growing. Sexual involvement will freeze that relationship right where it is at and it will never grow beyond that point. But when sexual energy is reserved for marriage, physical intimacy is a dynamic part of a growing and maturing relationship.
Bottom line: some things are worth waiting for, and saving sex for marriage is one of those things.
Remember: a young man treats his dates with honor; a boy does not.
Prayer:
Father, I pray that you will cause a strong spirit of sexual purity to rest on my son as he moves through this stage in his life. Grant him great wisdom in pursuing relationships with young women. May he always treat them with honor and protect their sexual purity. Lead him, in your time, to the woman of your choice for him. In Jesus’ name, amen.
