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Raised by pornography
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(Editor’s Note: The following article contains graphic content that is not suitable for children.)
Online pornography exposure among children has become increasingly common, resulting in a mass reframing of sexual intimacy as a violent and degrading activity.
A 2022 report by Common Sense Media found that 54% of teenagers surveyed had an initial encounter with pornography at 13 years old or younger, with the average age of first exposure being 12.
Heidi Olson, a certified pediatric nurse and certified pediatric Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE), has conducted or reviewed more than 1,500 exams of children who have experienced sexual violence. As founder and president of an organization called Paradigm Shift Training and Consulting (paradigmshifttc.com), she is a prominent advocate for raising awareness about the sexual exploitation of children, having testified before the U.S. government and the United Nations concerning the issue.
For Olson, helping young people who have experienced sexual violence is a personal matter. She shares her story in the newest episode of The Impact Series, a collection of short documentaries about bold individuals who are influencing the culture for the kingdom of God. (See sidebar.)
“I was sexually assaulted repeatedly by a fellow college student who went to my church,” she said in an interview on American Family Radio’s (AFR) The Hamilton Corner with Abraham Hamilton III. “As much as I talk about working with victims and practicing as a forensic nurse, I also know what it feels like to be [the victim].”
However, Olson’s advocacy journey actually began after a nonprofit organization set up a large exhibit on human trafficking at the university she attended; it was a subject she had never really considered prior to the exhibit but one that would end up impacting her career as a nurse.
A disturbing trend
Years later, Olson became a SANE nurse and almost immediately recognized a troubling pattern.
“When I first began working with kids, I had no training on anything related to kids sexually assaulting other kids,” Olson said in an interview with American Family Studios (AFS), which produced The Impact Series: The Heidi Olson Story. “We didn’t talk about it. There wasn’t a formal name for it. And what I realized very quickly after finishing orientation as a SANE nurse is that the perpetrator [of sexual assault] is often really young … 10, 11, 12 years old.”
The dots connected when she encountered a situation involving a 12-year-old who had sexually assaulted a younger sibling. According to the child’s parents, he had become increasingly isolated and dependent on his phone. It was later discovered that he was viewing violent pornography.
Olson said that the link between pornography and sexual assault against children is undeniable. She explained that pornography is proving time and time again to be a part of sexual assaults, across the board. For example, a child might be shown pornography as a means of grooming; the offender might be fueled by a pornography addiction; pornographic material might be created by videoing a child being assaulted and then distributing it to other people.
This lit a fire under Olson and led her to dedicate her career to raising awareness about the connection between pornography and sexual violence. She went on to manage the forensic program at a children’s hospital for five years before stepping away to expand her work on a larger scale and push for broader change.
A generation discipled by porn
Olson recalled taking care of a 15-year-old girl who had been brutally assaulted by a 15-year-old boy. His sexual attack on her included strangulation.
Olson partially blames the algorithmic nature of online pornography for the normalization of such violence. Online porn sites utilize algorithms to keep users engaged by presenting increasingly provocative material, targeting adult viewers who have been consuming porn for years. When children encounter these sites, they are overwhelmed by content specifically designed to be addictive, which escalates into more extreme material over time. A large portion of that material depicts violent acts.
But it isn’t just pornography sites that are shaping the violent sexual behavior of the next generation. Olson said much of the blame comes from certain popular social media influencers, such as pornographer Bonnie Blue and self-proclaimed misogynist Andrew Tate. (See The Stand, 8/25.)
Andrew Tate touts “harmful attitudes toward women,” said Olson. “Bonnie Blue produces content that either normalizes extreme violence against women or promotes self-exploitation. Even if parents have good filters to protect their children from porn, those filters may not catch people like Andrew Tate.”
A silent church
The influence of pornography does not stop at screens or social media celebrities. Its messages about sex, power, and violence creep into homes, schools, and churches alike. Olson asserts that this reality leaves Christian parents with a choice: Either these forces will continue shaping young minds unchallenged, or parents will confront them directly.
She told the story of a middle school student who asked her mother about a sexual term she had heard in school. Flustered and embarrassed, the mother chose to avoid the uncomfortable conversation by denying she knew what the term meant.
Olson emphasized that curiosity itself is not the problem: “Kids are curious about sex, and that is normal.”
That curiosity, she argued, offers parents and churches a moment of discipleship. It is a chance to talk about healthy relationships, dignity, boundaries, and God’s design in an honest, age-appropriate way. When adults refuse that role, something else will fill the gap.
“If we avoid all these topics, kids are still going to be curious,” she said. “They’re going to seek out the answers elsewhere. And guess what – it’s probably going to be online, which is exactly where we don’t want them seeking out answers about sex.”
Olson believes that for far too long, the church has largely avoided direct engagement with issues of sex, pornography, sexual assault, and masturbation, even as children have been navigating those topics on their own. That avoidance has not protected children’s innocence; it has left children to seek answers from peers and pornographers. By closing the door to those conversations, parents and churches are unintentionally throwing their children to the wolves.
“The church absolutely has a unique position to step up and bring healing in this realm,” Olson explained. “We have to start talking to kids. We cannot assume that they’re going to be able to navigate their way through this extremely traumatic, sexually violent world that they’re being inundated with.”
Olson warned that if Christians are unwilling to enter uncomfortable conversations, pornography will not hesitate to do it for them. It will answer questions about sex, define intimacy, and normalize violence. The only alternative, she said, is for the church to show up first and be willing to get messy, speak clearly, and love children enough to tell them the truth before pornography feeds them lies.
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