Marriage Before Children

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Raising kids is full and fast, and somewhere between the carpools, the homework, and the bedtime battles, it's easy to lose sight of the person you married. Abraham and Maria Hamilton speak directly to this in a recent episode of By Design, making a case for why your marriage has to come before your parenting, not because your kids don't matter, but because a healthy marriage is the very ground your family stands on.

Anchoring their conversation in Matthew 19, the Hamiltons are quick to point out that marriage isn't something culture invented or something courts can redefine. It was established by God, and that makes it worth protecting with real intention.

One of the more convicting things they bring up is how quietly the drift happens. You don't set out to neglect your spouse. But the kids' needs are loud and constant, and before long, your marriage is running on empty. Abraham and Maria have been there, and they share their own experiences alongside honest, practical advice for couples trying to stay connected in the middle of a full house.

They spend real time on love languages, and for good reason. Knowing how your partner gives and receives love can short-circuit a lot of the low-grade frustration that builds up over time. The Hamiltons encourage couples to check in on each other's "love tanks" regularly, not as a scheduled task, but as a genuine habit of paying attention to one another.

They also champion what they call "Mommy and Daddy time," a carved-out space that belongs to just the two of you. It doesn't need to be elaborate or expensive. It just needs to happen consistently. And your kids notice. When they watch their parents choosing each other and investing in their relationship, they're getting a front-row seat to what a real marriage looks like.

At the end of the day, a thriving marriage is one of the best things you can give your children. It's the kind of stable, loving home that makes kids feel safe, and it starts with two people deciding, over and over again, to put their marriage first.

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