There’s no doubt there has been a shift in the way parents view manners and courtesy. What now passes as acceptable behavior in children is so bad, it might leave many wondering if a return to raising respectful children is even possible. Well, it is. In fact, my recent guest on The Stand Radio is doing all she can to bring respect back into children’s lives by training parents. Jill Rigby Garner, author of Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World, joined me to talk about the differences between manners and respect, and how parenting styles have a big impact on how our children act.
As the mother of twin sons, she began her journey into character development by teaching table manners to her children’s first grade class. This led to a deep dive into the heart attitudes that lie behind simple etiquette. Jill is now Founder/Creative Director of Manners of the Heart and has made it her life’s work to help parents understand the nature and importance of heart education. She admitted, “For the last 60 years we’ve worked really hard to fill up children’s minds, and we’ve done that to the neglect of the education of the heart.”
On the show, we talked about the three types of parenting: parent-centered, child-centered, and character-centered. The latter, she argues, is crucial for raising children who mature into respectful adults. Jill stresses that respectful parenting begins with the parents themselves, as children often imitate the behavior they observe.
Jill also discussed the 'School of Respect,' where families prioritize respect as a cornerstone value. By answering children's soul questions at each developmental stage, parents can build trust, security, and obedience, ultimately leading to self-respect. She emphasized the importance of scripture memorization, a strong friend group, and meaningful chores in nurturing a child's character and faith.
While there’s no way back to an earlier time of widespread agreement on what constitutes acceptable behavior, we can definitely take some steps to cultivate respect in the hearts of our children. I hope you’ll take time to listen to my interview with Jill Rigby Garner and share it with a friend.
