Parents, we bear countless responsibilities in raising our children. However, one of the overlooked duties is teaching our children their spiritual language. But what exactly does this mean, and why is it so crucial?
The idea of spiritual language goes far beyond merely teaching children religious vocabulary or having them memorize Bible verses. It's about giving authentic meaning to words that form the foundation of their faith – words like love, forgiveness, mercy, and grace. These concepts can remain hollow and abstract unless children see them lived out in tangible ways.
Consider the instruction found in Deuteronomy 6:6-7:
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
Notice how this passage intertwines teaching with daily living – it's not just about talking but about demonstrating truth in every aspect of life.
Walk the talk
Take, for instance, the concept of turning to God with our worries. Many parents correctly tell their children to pray when they're anxious or troubled. However, if these same parents visibly crumble under every minor stress, constantly worry about finances, or respond to challenges with anxiety rather than prayer, their words become meaningless. Children learn more from what we do than what we say.
Treating our children with dignity and respect is crucial to building this spiritual language. For many children, it is their parents who are the first people to demonstrate what respect looks and feels like. When we tear down our children for their mistakes, disregard their feelings, treat them as property to be controlled, or consider them less important than adults, we teach them a distorted language of human dignity and worth. We show them that they can, when they are important adults like us, treat others dismissively like we treat them. Instead, we should treat them the way we want them to treat others, remembering Jesus's words: "In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you" (Matthew 7:12).
One of the most powerful ways we teach spiritual language is through our own repentance. Many parents struggle with admitting their mistakes to their children, viewing it as a sign of weakness or a threat to their authority. However, when we humble ourselves, acknowledge our wrongs, and ask for forgiveness without offering excuses, we teach our children what true repentance looks like and give them an opportunity to extend forgiveness. This vulnerability doesn't diminish our authority but demonstrates the beauty of an authentic relationship with God and others.
The language of love for others is another critical area where actions speak louder than words. We can repeatedly tell our children to "love your neighbor," but if they regularly hear us speaking ill of others, making derogatory comments about different groups of people, or expressing contempt for those who disagree with us, we're teaching them contradictory language. Our children need to see us actively loving others—even those different from us or those with whom we disagree. Model Jesus in His attitude towards the tax collectors, harlots, Samaritans, and Gentiles – an attitude that scandalized the Pharisees of His day. No one could mistake Jesus’ love for them for anything other than unconditional and free.
Mercy and grace are particularly challenging concepts to convey without demonstration. Unfortunately, many children grow up in homes where judgment is modeled far more frequently than mercy. When parents are quick to condemn and slow to show compassion, children develop a distorted understanding of God's character. He becomes a stern Father, ever ready to smite His children if they step out of line and slow to forgive – an opposite picture to what the Scriptures communicate. How can they comprehend the depth of God's mercy if they've never experienced or witnessed mercy in action?
A living witness
As parents, we must remember that we're not just teaching our children about God; we're showing them what God is like through our actions and responses. When we demonstrate patience during trying times, extend forgiveness when wronged, show kindness to those in need, and respond to difficulties with faith rather than fear, we give our children a rich vocabulary of lived spiritual truth.
This responsibility might seem overwhelming, and we cannot fulfill it perfectly. However, even our imperfect attempts to live out these spiritual truths – including our honest acknowledgment of failures and our continuous efforts to grow – become part of the spiritual language we teach our children.
Returning to Deuteronomy 6:6-7, we see a beautiful blueprint for spiritual instruction that encompasses every moment of daily life. The passage doesn't just tell us to teach our children when we're formally sitting down for a lesson; it speaks of teaching them throughout the natural rhythm of our days – when we sit, walk, lie down, and rise up. This isn't about finding specific times to teach; it's about allowing our entire lifestyle to become a living curriculum.
Consider what it means to teach "when you sit in your house." This speaks to our home life, our family dynamics, how we handle disagreements, how we spend our leisure time, and what we prioritize in our daily routines. When we "walk by the way," we're showing our children how to interact with the world outside our homes – how we treat those we disagree with, respond to inconveniences, steward resources, and engage with our community. The references to lying down and rising up remind us that our teaching encompasses both our last words at night and our first actions in the morning. Every aspect of our lives becomes a lesson in this spiritual language we pass on to the next generation.
