I’m very blessed to say that I have two of the best mentors in the entire world. They aren’t perfect, but they’ve counseled me through countless decisions, worries, and conflicts, pointing me to a Savior who loves me more than I could ever imagine.
Those two mentors are my parents. Their commitment to God, each other, and our family never ceases to amaze me and spur my faith to grow deeper roots. While living under their leadership for twenty-one years has given me a front-row view of their failures, it’s also given me a front-row view of their faith and their forgiveness. They’ve shown me what it’s like to live an imperfect yet faithful life in the wings of a perfect and faithful God.
I know this story is rare. Countless of my friends, including my mom, carry the weight of a broken relationship with their parents. Earthly parents are not perfect, and often, they allow their selfishness and apathy to create deep, lasting pain.
That’s not God’s design.
But thankfully, God has adopted us into His family (Romans 8:14-17; Ephesians 1:5). As we await the glories of eternity when all of God’s people will sing and praise His name forever, He’s given us the local church as a tangible representation of that forever family. And as we serve, pray, worship, and even grieve alongside that family, we grow in our journeys of becoming disciples. We see God’s provision of comfort, wisdom, discernment, and support through the people He’s placed in our lives. We find the meaning of mentorship.
Evaluating influence
No matter what view you have of yourself, we all have some level of influence on those around us. And if we want to effectively provide mentorship and direction to the foot of the cross, we must determine what we want that influence to be, lest we find ourselves drifting toward complacency and pulling others into its current.
Perhaps the most straightforward example of discipleship found in the Bible exists between Jesus and the 12 men He chose to intentionally follow Him in ministry across the hills and valleys of Israel. Jesus did not merely teach His disciples lessons of wisdom and mercy; He actively lived them. He walked alongside them, learning their hearts, habits, and hopes. He heard their worries (Mark 4:35-41) and fed their hunger.
Who falls within your circle of influence? To whom may God be calling you to spend a few extra of your resources, devote yourself in prayer, and draw nearer to Him?
Perhaps it’s a family member, such as the relationship between Mordecai and Esther (Esther 2:5-7). Maybe you and your spouse know a younger, single member of your church seeking guidance, hospitality, and redirection, such as in the relationship of Priscilla, Aquila, and Apollos (Acts 18:24-28).
Perhaps you are ministry partners, spurring one another toward good works as Elijah and Elisha did (1 Kings 19:19-21). Maybe you are intended to provide accountability, as Nathan did for David (2 Samuel 12). Or perhaps you’re called to the classic example of older generations passing the torch of faith to the next generation, such as Moses did for Joshua (Deuteronomy 31:7-8) and Paul did for Timothy (Acts 16:1-3).
Whatever phase of life you’re in, your words and actions carry weight in the life of someone you know. Influence, combined with intentionality, creates mentorship. Who is running the race (Hebrews 12:1-2) toward heaven ahead of you? Who is running the race behind you? How is your legacy going to grow the cloud of witnesses?
Finding home
I believe it’s truly okay to acknowledge that some things can never be fully replaced, including loving parents and a stable home. While church family members walk alongside us, and we find mentorship under the guidance of another, there may always be a deep longing for acceptance from the ones who created us.
But in those moments of grief and mourning for a home that has been lost (or perhaps never even existed), we must turn to our ultimate Creator, the one who designed us as a masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10) and who comforts us in our sorrow (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; Psalm 119:50). He knows every piece of hurt in our hearts, and He provides all we yearn for – acceptance, belonging, and even love.
If you grew up in a home with stable support figures who pointed you to God’s unfathomable love, search for ways to steward that stability. Open your home on holidays. Invite whomever God has placed on your heart to get their nails done or visit the driving range. Share the immeasurable hope and joy you’ve found in Jesus.
If you didn’t grow up in a home with stable support figures, experiencing loss and deep hurt, don’t discount your story. Your strength, resilience, and forgiveness are all conduits for God’s glory, and your story will be redeemed. Invite whom God has placed on your heart to the same nail appointment or the same driving range; He has placed you where you are for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). Create new traditions and celebrate how far you’ve come.
God has invited all of us into His family, and as we await our heavenly reunion, invest in those He’s placed in your church home or on your street. He’s given us all brilliantly unique gifts and callings to be stewarded as we spur one another on during our journeys home.
