The Comforter of Christmas

The holidays loom large at our house, large and daunting.

As many of you know, this will be the first Christmas for our family without our son Chris. But what you do not know is that, for the past 38 years, he was the one who loved Christmas the most at our house.

Even as an adult, he was the one who made sure we all came together. And at every family gathering, he was the door greeter, the hilarious emcee, the sarcastic comedian, the bear hugger, the tone-setter, the thought-filled gift giver, the anxious gift getter, and the constant little boy at heart.

It was a lifelong love of Christmas for Chris. As a child, he was the one who could not sleep with such a precious anticipation of Christmas morning and all the people he loved being together in one place.

Chris was also the one who made us aware of people near and far who needed extra help at Christmas.

He was the one who loved packing shoeboxes for Samaritan’s purse, shopping for the perfect gift for every single person he loved, and finding a few new people to lovingly add to our merriment each year.

Even last year, only days after getting to go back to school and teach after his long hospitalization, he asked us to help him and other teachers by providing gifts for a few kids at his school.

And last year, Christmas 2022, was my side of the family’s first Christmas without our mother. For Chris and his brother, my mother was one of the original sources behind his love of Christmas. Between her absence and his recent remission from leukemia, Chris was determined to go all out for the holiday.

Looking back, I wonder if he had some inkling that it might be his final Christmas with us on earth. I am not sure on that count, but I do know that this momma's heart of mine hurts. I cannot imagine Christmas without my baby boy. I just can’t.

Now, I know we will make it through this holiday time. Millions of parents throughout time have been through what we are facing, and they survived. We will too.

I also have no doubts that Chris will have the absolute best Christmas of his life – for he will be celebrating it with the Christ of Christmas. For that, I am so very grateful and more than a little bit jealous. For if the truth be told, I look so forward to the day I get invited to that heavenly Christmas celebration too.

But right here and now, I simply miss my child. There’s no getting around that fact. And sometimes, I feel ashamed that I mourn Chris so much, especially during a time that truly is all about our Lord Jesus.

Recently though, I discovered that in the Bible, God mentions mourning, crying, and grieving hundreds of times. Many of those verses give me comfort and hope, while also pointing me and urging me to keep looking expectantly toward Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith.

I also found out that the ancient Hebrew custom of mourning after the death of a loved one had several pre-set times. If I am not mistaken in my research, the first seven days after a death were not only observed but expected, as were the first 30 days, and the entire first year – in different forms. And then, on every single anniversary of that death, there was another accepted period of mourning for 24 hours.

Of course, I do not think this entire process is completely outlined and mandated in Scripture, but it does give us a look at the solemn sanctity of life observed by God’s people. And it encourages me to know that throughout time, God’s children have mourned – but they have also found an eventual end to the deepest, darkest times of that grief.

Still, here we are, not quite 6 months out, and it’s time to celebrate our first earthly Christmas without our Christopher; by name, he was our very own Christ-bearer. How will we handle this very human season of grief as a family during Christmas?

I think there is only one way to face this moment in a way that honors Jesus and that precious, black-haired, dimpled little boy who used to anticipate the joys of Christmas all year long. And that is to remember one particular promise that the Christ of Christmas spoke to His children in Matthew 5:4,

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Yes, we mourn during this special time of the year. So do many of you.

We mourn the loss of loved ones, marriages, loss of relationships, loss of jobs, loss of homes, loss of dreams, loss of so many things we hold dear.

But we shall be comforted.

That is an undisputed promise backed by the perfect, spotless blood of the Lamb of God. Hallelujah! May we never forget that the one born in that lowly manger of Bethlehem is the same one who died on that bloody cross of Golgotha. Jesus the Messiah already conquered death, hell, and the grave – for us.

So, take heart! The Comforter has come, and He will comfort us. And better yet, one day, He will welcome us Home to the greatest, unending Christ-centered celebration of all.