Swimming Upstream

In a world that seems intent on destroying the family, a bright spot has emerged. According to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center, 73% of American adults say spending time with family is one of the most important things in their lives.

This widespread prioritization of family represents a shift to be celebrated. In previous eras, career ambitions or community involvement often took precedence over family relationships. But this study reveals a refreshing realignment for many. Time with spouses, children, siblings, and parents tops the list, above being active, experiencing nature, or excelling professionally.

The psalmist rightly esteemed the blessing of family, writing, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalm 127:3, ESV).

Yet parenting involves far more than just making happy memories. In God’s economy, the work of parents extends into the mission of discipleship. Scripture charges parents to bring up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). This high calling requires intentionality and perseverance.

Studies confirm that most American parents eventually pass down their religious and political beliefs to their children. Previous research by the Pew Research Center in 2019 revealed that 82% of Protestant parents have teens who also identify as Protestants. A similar 81% of Catholic parents end up with Catholic teens. And 86% of religiously unaffiliated parents see their children follow suit by professing no faith.

Generations of disciples

Abraham Hamilton III, AFA’s general counsel, host of The Hamilton Corner radio program on AFR, and pastor, explained why passing on religious beliefs is important for Christian parents.

“I think Christian parents are committed to passing on their beliefs because of what the Scripture says, because of what God requires of parents,” he said. “From Genesis through Revelation, God reveals the generational vision that He has for parenting.”

Hamilton pointed to Matthew 19:5, where Jesus reaffirms Genesis 2:24, in which God sets forth a multigenerational vision as early as the creation of Adam: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

“God knew very well that Adam didn’t have natural biological ancestry,” said Hamilton.

“Nevertheless, Jesus affirms a notion that would-be potential candidates for marriage are derived from fathers, which reveals that God had something very specific in mind when He introduced the concept of fatherhood and motherhood into the human experience.”

In Hamilton’s view, “One of the primary reasons that God establishes fatherhood and motherhood is for the express purpose of creating a vehicle to transmit generational faithfulness to Himself. Passing on this vibrant, intimate fellowship and fidelity to the King of Glory is something that I believe that God intended from the very beginning to be intrinsic to the disciplines of parenthood.”

Inspecting and nurturing the fruit

As children grow into adulthood, the pull of secular culture can exert immense pressure. Studies tracking young adults over time reveal more volatility in religious identity between ages 18 and 29. Within this window, many switch affiliations or drop faith altogether. Still, most young adults retain the faith of their upbringing. Among those raised Protestant, 79% stay Protestant. Of Catholics, 62% remain Catholic. And 62% whose parents were religiously unaffiliated continue as “nones.”

However, Hamilton warned against assuming children are saved just because they grow up in a Christian home, comparing it to Jesus encountering a fig tree with leaves but no fruit.

“In the morning, as He was returning to the city, He became hungry. And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, He went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves …” (Matthew 21:18-19).

“In a lot of circumstances,” Hamilton explained, “we have children who are daily exposed to Christian living. They may even be in a place where there’s sound biblical teaching. None of those things mean that our little children have been born again. And some of us as parents, unfortunately, make the regrettable mistake of assuming, because they are raised in a context where faith is transmitted, that faith has actually been transmitted. The lack of fruit inspection and the lack of intentional discipleship from a parental perspective ends up with a lot of parents being surprised later on at the fact that their children weren’t genuinely born again.”

He argued that parents have a responsibility not just to preach the gospel and see professions of faith, but to inspect fruit and “walk alongside them in everyday life to see whether or not there is genuine evidence of repentance that is consistently borne throughout the remainder of the child’s life.”

Unplugging from “selfie culture”

Hamilton stressed that church leaders must recognize that it is fathers and mothers whom God will hold accountable for evangelizing and shepherding their children’s souls.

“Pastors and churches corporately must seek to establish a cultural norm within their local assemblies where parents not only are intellectually aware of but also practically empowered to take responsibility as the shepherds of their children’s souls,” he explained.

However, Hamilton lamented that today’s “selfie culture” celebrates self-fulfillment over self-sacrifice. He pointed to Romans 12, where it is seen that a Christian can be “conformed to this world.” He believes one of the parents’ main tasks is to “consistently and intentionally unplug from the matrix” and examine whether their mindsets align with Scripture or have been shaped by worldly values. 

According to Hamilton, “A lot of the fruitfulness in kingdom engagement is forfeited because we just don’t realize how much worldliness has seeped into our thinking.”

As an example, he noted that some parents say, “I just don’t like being around my child that much.” While this may be a common sentiment, Hamilton challenged, “Is this ideology a biblically sanctioned ideology or does it come from elsewhere?

“If we come to that realization,” he said, “and we recognize, ‘Wait a minute, I feel that way; I don’t like being around my own children,’ despite Scripture pointing to God’s heart for family, then transformation can happen. We’ll see ourselves with the ability to overcome lots of the hurdles that the culture attempts to throw at us.”

The path of least resistance swims downstream with culture, but faithful parents must swim upstream by God’s grace.

This intentional swimming against the cultural current takes tremendous effort but bears eternal fruit. As Hamilton declared, “The most effective youth ministry that could ever exist is an ecclesiastical covenant between churches and parents, where the parents are empowered as the front line of this missional objective of making disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ throughout the generations.” 

(Digital Editor's Note: This article was published first in the October 2023 print edition of The Stand).