The Day My Mother Held My Father-in-law's Hand

A while back, I was riding in the car with my husband of almost 44 years. He rested his arm on the center console, and I instinctively reached over to hold his hand. It was something I had done countless times since our days as teenagers when we rode around and around the town square on Saturday nights.

Our hands rested comfortably intertwined like that for a moment. There was nothing out of the ordinary until I looked away for a moment. Then, I looked back down at our clasped hands and gasped.

Lo and behold, instead of my husband and I romantically holding hands, I saw my mom holding hands with my husband’s dad.

Wait … what happened to the young, smooth hands of those starry-eyed kids who met in high school? Where did they go? And how did my late mother’s hand (a hand I instantly recognized from years of loving caresses and care) end up holding a hand closely resembling that of my late father-in-law?

I was shocked. Somehow, I slowly and painfully realized we were not the same teen sweethearts I had always pictured in my mind. My husband and I had somehow grown old overnight, age spots and all.

Man, that day in the car was a life-changing moment for me. I was undeniably older! And for some reason, that moment was more than a milestone; it was an “Ebenezer Stone” kind of moment.

What’s an Ebenezer Stone?  Well, remember the biblical story of the Israelites and the Philistines in 1 Samuel 7? The children of God had recently gone through a spiritual introspection of their own, and the second verse of the chapter says they had returned to God. But Samuel told them if they wanted to return wholeheartedly to God, they had to get rid of all their idols. Then, and only then, Samuel promised that God would deliver them from their ever-present tormentors – the Philistines.

So, they did.

The Israelites gathered as one body of believers to confess their sins and put away all their foreign, false gods. Wouldn’t you know it? The Philistines got wind of it and set out to immediately attack the newly dedicated and consecrated Israelites.

Ok, stop right there.

Let’s be real. Isn’t that exactly what happens in our own lives? Just when we think we have our lives on track, the enemy comes right back at us, again and again. We all have some serious battle scars to show for his relentless onslaughts. And even though we put on the whole armor of God, and we know we serve the victorious King, we still are only human.

We not only get battle weary, but we also get battle wary.

That’s when the Ebenezer Stone becomes so important. When the Philistines came calling that day in Chapter 7 of 1 Samuel, the odds were stacked enormously, impossibly against the children of Israel. And the Israelites had been down that path so many times before. They knew how vicious their enemies were, and they remembered how often the Philistines had been victorious.

In essence, they were war-weary, very weary – and justifiably wary of their enemy and wary of the prospective battle to come.

But God honored His children’s hearts of repentance and sacrificial love. He miraculously stopped the Philistines, throwing them into absolute panic with a thunderous roar. One mere sound from heaven was all it took to give the Israelites the advantage. They defeated the panicked Philistines, and the Bible says it was a long-term defeat, lasting the rest of Samuel’s lifetime.

So, Samuel took an Ebenezer Stone, “a stone of help,” and set it up on the site of the battle route. He wanted the children of God to always remember God alone was the source of their victory. He wanted them to have a tangible spot where they could return to and recount God’s faithful love and unmatchable power.

I do not know about you, but sometimes I need those Ebenezer Stones in my own life. I need a particular spot or a moment in time that I can return to when the days get tough or the battles rage around me. I need something tangible I can go back to, to remind myself that God is always in control and always more than able. I need to recognize that He has, in fact, already won the victory.

Our Ebenezer Stones help us to remember and help us to stand in those tough times.

For me, that moment in the car was one such Ebenezer Stone. And the funny thing is – I doubt my husband even remembers that moment. But I do, and for me, it was a testament to God’s faithfulness, a reminder that He holds us both in the palm of His Hand. And His hand, the hand of God, never changes. It never grows old, and it never grows weary.

It is the very same hand that joined one boy and one girl together almost 44 years back. Since then, that hand helped us to face hardships of lack, loneliness, sickness, disease, and moments of absolute sadness, including the recent death of our youngest son.

Even now, in this season of deep grief, I know without a doubt that His hand will hold us and guide us to the other side of this moment with love and mercy – and victory.

In fact, His hand is the one that welcomed our son home with a loving embrace and those life-giving Words: “Well done, my good and faithful servant, Chris Lucius! You have fought the fight. You have kept the faith. Now there is laid up for you a crown of righteousness.”

Since his death, God’s hand has lovingly drawn several of Chris’ students and friends into His embrace, providing redemption and life eternal. And the reverberation of our son’s life lived for Christ will continue through generations as these newly birthed Christians are lovingly guided by the hand of the very God that Chris served throughout his life.

And we believe that way beyond this season of grief, God’s mighty hand will use these new believers to witness to millions of others about His saving power. For as Isaiah 59: so eloquently states, “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear” (KJV).

So, yes, as his grieving parents, we can look back at so many Ebenezer Stones in his life and our own, and we can declare without a doubt that God is faithful. He sees us; He hears us; and He loves us beyond measure.

Of that, we are sure! Because no matter what the two of us faced over the past 44 years, He was always there. It was always God’s hand holding us together – yesterday, today, tomorrow – and forever.