In case you haven’t heard, today is Valentine’s Day.
I don’t know how you feel about this particular holiday, but to be quite honest, I’ve never cared for it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a sucker for some good chocolate and a flower or two. However, February 14th is probably my least favorite (major) holiday.
During this time of the year, red and pink are plastered everywhere, the price of chocolate and roses skyrocket, and cheesy Hallmark cards flood store isles. And if you want dinner reservations? I hope you booked them early! A recent NBC News article revealed that in a world post-Covid, “reservations [are] up 30 percent compared to 2021.”
Oh, and let’s also not forget that this day was designed to remember the martyrdom of the Catholic priest St. Valentine. Sounds romantic, huh?
Nevertheless, my biggest concern with Valentine’s Day is that it singles out one day to do what we should do all year long. Could you imagine what would happen in our relationships if we only lavished our loved ones a single day out of the year? I don’t think we’d have a single thriving relationship on planet Earth.
Sure, nothing is wrong with fancy dinners, flowers, and gifts. But our daily mission should be to love our loved ones well and with excellence. After all, they are on the clock for 365 days, not 24 hours.
But how exactly can that be done? It’s easier to process when there are specific days we can focus on. However, a daily call to love? Woo! That is too much to handle.
I asked that same question for a long time. I wondered what this whole “love” thing was supposed to look like across the board. Then, someone told me about Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.
Chapman’s method is almost common knowledge now, but the love languages are as follows:
- Acts of service.
- Quality time.
- Words of affirmation.
- Physical touch.
- Receiving gifts.
But what does it mean?
Chapman made them all short, sweet, and straight to the point. On the 5 Love Languages website, they even created a short quiz to help individuals pinpoint their own love language(s). Another cool thing about the quiz is that it uses percentages to break down how you rank in each category.
For example, when my now-husband and I were dating, he never said, “I love you.” Rather, he showed it by handmaking me beautiful furniture and leather goods. But because he didn’t vocalize his affection, I had moments of doubts.
Then, we learned our love languages.
My love language is words of affirmation. A writer who likes words, who would have thought? Contrarily, my husband’s gifts are acts of service. So back in those early days when I was waiting for words, he thought he had it covered because he was crafting gifts for me.
After we figured this out, life wasn’t perfect, but it helped us understand each other on a different level. Now that we’re married, it helps even more! I focus more on serving him, and he uses his words much more.
This can be used in other relationships as well. Most people have a love language, and learning that allows us to better connect with those we love most. Once you figure out their language, you can show them love in many ways. But how?
Acts of service? Lend a hand and complete a task that you don’t normally do.
Need some quality time? Put down the electronic devices and enjoy the day screen-free. Does someone need a word of affirmation? Tell them that you appreciate and love them.
What about physical touch? Chapman says specifically that it should be “appropriate” physical touch. So, offer a hug or a pat on the back.
Can’t afford a high-dollar gift? Just grab their favorite snack and surprise them when you get home.
There are so many ways to daily show our love for one another. Don’t wait to celebrate!
We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19).
