A Picture of Perfect Love

I answered the phone to hear an old friend excitedly ask, “Am I too late? Am I? I can do it. I can be on the team!” 

Remembering that phone call (years ago) still encourages me as I remember my friend Ethan* and his wife Laura*, and their illustration of perfect love, the level of love that Paul wrote about in 1 Corinthians 13. Note how he positions love above other gifts of the Spirit: 

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). 

To give context to Ethan’s phone call, here’s the back story. I had been blessed with the opportunity to pull together a team who would lead an upcoming Christian men’s retreat. Ethan and I both knew from the start that he would be one of “my main men,” one of the guys who would speak, lead, challenge, and encourage men at the retreat.  

As the date for the retreat neared, Ethan contacted me to say he had a conflict. He couldn’t attend a critical planning session because his wife had scheduled them for a weekend getaway with friends. Knowing the importance of that session, he was calling to say he couldn’t serve on the retreat team. 

“I really need to do this for Laura,” he said. “She never gets to go anywhere without the kids.”  

“I understand,” I replied. And I did. I tried not to let my voice reveal my disappointment. He was obviously putting his priorities in the right order. We ended that conversation with both of us understanding that I would begin immediately to pray and seek a replacement. Time was short. 

Early the next morning, came another call from Ethan: “Am I too late? I can do it. I can be on the team!” 

“But what about your wife?” I asked.  

“Well, she knew how excited I was about that retreat, and – without telling me – she cancelled our reservations for the getaway. So I can be on the team!” 

He was not too late, but right on time. 

Later in his letter, Paul reenforced the significance of genuine Jesus-like love in the life of a believer:   

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). 

Confession time. On occasions when I think I’ve been mistreated, disrespected, or ignored, I can still be guilty of allowing my Christ-like love to be challenged or diminished. When those times come, it always helps me to reflect not only on Paul’s teaching, but also to remember friends like Ethan and Laura whose lives have shown me a picture of perfect love.  

*Names are changed for privacy. 

The Excellence of Love 

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

 Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part;  but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the [f]greatest of these is love.