A second line. It was there; I saw it.
Four months after the birth of our first baby, we learned the joyous news that we were expecting our second. Excitedly, we began to plan. We imagined what our life would be like with two children so close in age. Their due date was set to be exactly one week apart. We giggled at the thought of them potentially having the same birthday with a year in between.
Yet, all too soon, those dreams were crushed.
As our excitement was building, we learned that we would never get to hold that precious baby on this side of heaven. Instead, almost as soon as we knew he or she was with us, the Lord called him or her home to be with Him.
The world would say that those few weeks didn’t matter – that we didn’t “lose a baby” – just a clump of cells.
But we knew the truth.
From the moment we saw that second line appear on the test, we knew we were parents again, no matter how far along we were. Life began at conception, and there was no argument among us. When we learned of our loss, we were (and still are) heartbroken.
The Bible is filled with life-giving, life-breathing, life-restoring stories. Why didn’t my baby get the chance to live? Not to mention that as Christ-following believers, my husband and I are willing to fight for and defend the unborn in a culture that doesn’t care for them. So, why did my miscarriage have to happen?
I picked up my Bible, hoping to understand.
I didn’t find a black-and-white answer to my concerns, but I did stumble on Matthew 14.
Scripture presents the well-known story of Peter and his walk on water with Jesus, and I learned that it can be easily applied to any life lesson that leaves weary Christians hurting.
After a long day of listening to Jesus teach the crowds, His disciples boarded a boat to travel while Jesus prayed. A great storm arose while on this boat ride somewhere along the way. This gale left these men both without Jesus and terrified.
In fact, verse 23 shares that they were battered by the waves.
After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone. But the boat was already a long distance from the land, battered by the waves; for the wind was contrary. (Emphasis added.)
I imagine that in the middle of the storm, these usually faith-filled men were looking for the one who could calm the waves. After all, they had been with Him, serving Him. Would dying on a boat be how He would let them go?
But, alas, even though the storm came, so did Jesus.
And in the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid” (Matthew 14:25-27).
Instead of calming the storm, He walked to them while they were in it.
However, even seeing Him wasn’t as peace-giving for these men as it should have been. In verse 28, Peter, in his bravery, yelled out from the boat and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”
Jesus’s response was simply one word: “Come.”
He didn’t beg Peter to leave the boat. He just told him to come to Him on the water – to meet Him there.
Hearing His call, Peter left the safety of the rocking boat and began to walk to Jesus. His eyes were on the prize of being with His Savior. He was walking on water!
But all too soon, he lost his gaze.
But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” (Matthew 14:30)
Peter was sinking fast. I’m sure that his life flashed before his eyes as the tall waves crashed around him. But in his demise, and even though he had taken his eyes off of Him, Jesus didn’t leave Peter to drown. Instead, He reached out His hand and pulled him out of the water.
Matthew 14:22-32 says,
Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and *said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When they got into the boat, the wind stopped. And those who were in the boat worshiped Him, saying, “You are certainly God’s Son!”
In my life right now, perhaps like you, I feel like the waves are beating me. I know that He could have snapped His fingers and given life to my baby, but for some reason, He didn’t. Instead, my little one will never know pain or suffering, sin or shame – only the embrace of the Savior.
However, while I remain on this earth, I am given the same offer as Peter. In this storm of my life, Jesus is inviting me to come to Him, come to heaven’s throne, come to the One who makes all things new, and set my gaze on Jesus even though the waves are tall.
When the storms around us rage, it can be easy to think we are without Him. Yet, He reaches down to hold our hand through every boat-rocking wave.
