Valentine’s Day has become synonymous with romance, grand gestures, and an ever-expanding definition of love. In today’s culture, love is often reduced to mere emotion – something that fluctuates based on how we feel in a given moment. We can “fall in love” and just as easily “fall out of love.” Secular society promotes a view of love that affirms all feelings and desires, summed up in the popular phrase “love is love.” But is this the truth about love? Or is there something more solid, transcendent, and enduring?
The Bible presents a radically different perspective on love. Rather than being a fleeting emotion or a self-centered pursuit of happiness, biblical love is rooted in truth, sacrifice, and righteousness. It is not defined by human desires but by God Himself, for "God is love" (1 John 4:8). This means that true love cannot exist apart from Him and His nature and character, nor can it be reshaped to fit personal or cultural preferences.
Love and truth go hand in hand
Modern culture often asserts that to love someone means to affirm all their feelings, choices, or identities. However, biblical love is not about affirmation but transformation. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13:6 that love “does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth.” True love is not about approving every behavior but about leading others toward righteousness.
Jesus Himself exemplified this when He encountered the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). While He extended grace and refused to condemn her, He also commanded her to “go and sin no more.” His love was both compassionate and corrective – it embraced her but called her to a higher standard and to live in truth. Love without truth is mere sentimentality, while truth without love can become harsh and legalistic. Biblical love holds both together and acts on both.
Love as a choice and action, not a feeling
Secular notions of love often treat it as something beyond our control, subject to emotions and whims. This perspective fuels the rise of divorce, fleeting relationships, and an obsession with self-fulfillment and pleasure. However, Scripture teaches that love is an act of the will and living in truth. In Colossians 3:14, Paul commands believers to "put on love," indicating that love is something we choose rather than something we simply feel.
The ultimate example of love is found in Christ’s sacrifice: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This kind of love is selfless, unwavering, and rooted in commitment and character rather than convenience. If love were merely an emotion, Jesus would not have willingly endured the cross for the sake of sinners. But He chose to love us at the highest cost.
The culture’s emphasis on self-love over godly love
One of the most prevalent messages in today’s world is the idea of self-love. Social media, self-help books, and pop culture constantly emphasize the importance of “loving yourself first” as the path to happiness and fulfillment, or that we are unable to truly love others until we love ourselves. While it is important to recognize our worth, dignity, and value as human beings created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), the Bible does not command us to prioritize self-love. Instead, we are called to love God and serve others.
Jesus teaches in Matthew 22:37-39 that the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and the second is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Biblical love is outward-focused, emphasizing sacrifice and service rather than self-centered indulgence, even to the point of self-sacrifice. Paul echoes this in Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Self-love, when elevated above love for God and others, becomes idolatry. It shifts our focus from serving the Lord to gratifying our own desires. True fulfillment is not found in self-obsession but in surrendering to God and living a life of love and service for Him.
Redefining love distorts God’s design
The modern slogan “love is love” implies that love is valid in any form so long as it feels right to the individual. This thinking rejects the biblical boundaries God has set for relationships and morality. God, as the Creator and personification of love, defines it – not us. Marriage, for example, is not a human institution open to redefinition, but a divine covenant established by God between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). Any attempt to redefine love outside of God’s design is not true love but deception.
Isaiah 5:20 warns, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.” Love is not whatever we desire it to be; it must align with God’s holiness. When we detach love from God’s truth, we are not truly loving others – we are enabling sin and leading them away from life in Christ.
Love that reflects God’s character
As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, let us not be swept away by the world’s shallow definition of love. True love is not about feelings, affirmation, or personal fulfillment – it is about sacrifice, truth, and obedience to God. The greatest commandment is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37) … and the second is to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). But loving our neighbor does not mean affirming everything they do – it means pointing them to Christ, the source of all true love.
The world’s love is fleeting, self-centered, and ever-changing. God’s love is eternal, holy, and transformative. May we seek to love as He loves – not according to the shifting sands of culture, but according to His unchanging truth.
(Editor's Note: This article was posted first on the American Family News site HERE.)
