What does it mean to be a man? Our world offers countless answers, each shaped by cultural trends, personal ideologies, and, too often, misguided voices. Some celebrate an aggressive, domineering form of masculinity, teaching that manhood is found in power, wealth, and control. Others react to this by promoting an emasculated version of manhood, stripping it of leadership, courage, and conviction. Neither extreme offers the truth. To understand real manhood, we must look to the One who defines it perfectly: Jesus Christ.
Jesus was not an abstraction, a philosophical idea of goodness. He was—and is—a real man. He walked the earth, spoke with a real voice, touched real people, and bore real wounds. His example of manhood is not a theory; it is the highest reality. If we are to be men, we must be like Him.
Strength in gentleness
The world tells men to be strong, but it defines strength in ways that contradict the character of Christ. Strength, we are told, is found in dominance, intimidation, and self-serving ambition. But Jesus demonstrated true strength through gentleness.
Matthew 11:29 records His words: "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Jesus was no weakling; He had the power to call down legions of angels. Yet He restrained that power to serve others. He never bullied, manipulated, or sought personal gain. Instead, His strength was expressed in patient endurance, unwavering truth, and tender care for the weak.
Hands of a healer
J.R.R. Tolkien wrote, "The hands of a king are the hands of a healer." A real man uses his hands to heal. Jesus touched the leper when no one else would. He restored sight to the blind, gave speech to the mute, and even raised the dead. His hands did not grasp for power—they lifted the broken.
As men, our hands should reflect the same purpose. Whether we are fathers, husbands, brothers, or friends, we are called to heal. We should use our strength to serve, to restore, to bless.
Advocate for the helpless
Jesus was the defender of the weak. He stood up for the outcast, the sinner, the widow, and the orphan. He did not align Himself with the powerful elite but with those who had no advocate. He defended the woman caught in adultery, not excusing her sin, but shielding her from those who wished to destroy her while offering the path to redemption.
A real man does not use his strength to exploit the vulnerable. He does not seek status, wealth, or influence at the expense of others. Instead, he sacrifices for the good of those in need. In a world that values selfish gain, the Christian man is called to value self-giving love.
Humility and servanthood
The world often defines manhood by achievements, status, and control. But Jesus, the greatest man who ever lived, humbled Himself. He, who had every right to be served, chose instead to serve. On the night of His betrayal, He washed the feet of His disciples—an act of humility that even they found shocking.
Philippians 2:5-7 calls us to the same mindset:
"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men."
A real man is not preoccupied with proving himself. He is confident enough in his identity in Christ to lower himself in service to others. Whether in our families, workplaces, or communities, we are called to lead through humility, not arrogance.
Defender of righteousness
While Jesus was gentle and humble, He was never passive in the face of evil. He confronted sin directly, calling people to repentance. He did not compromise truth to win favor.
Many voices today either distort masculinity into unrestrained aggression or dilute it into passive compliance. But Jesus was neither a brute nor a coward. He stood firm in righteousness, willing to suffer for the sake of truth. This is what real men are called to do—not to chase worldly power, but to stand unwavering in the truth of God’s Word.
Mercy first
Though Jesus never excused sin, His approach to sinners was always marked by mercy. He did not cast stones, though He alone had the right to. Instead, He offered forgiveness and transformation.
Men today are often told they must demand respect, impose their will, and crush opposition. But Jesus, the King of Kings, did not force Himself upon anyone. He invited, He forgave, and He loved—even His enemies.
If we are to follow Him, we must do the same. Our strength must be tempered with grace. Our leadership must be marked by compassion. Our authority must be used to bless, not to dominate.
The ultimate sacrifice
Above all, Jesus demonstrated that real manhood is found in self-sacrifice. He did not live for Himself but laid down His life for the sake of others. The cross was not an accident; it was His mission.
Ephesians 5:25 tells husbands to love their wives “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." This is the model of true masculinity: not taking, but giving. Not demanding, but dying to self.
A real Man for a real world
Jesus was not a mythical figure or a disembodied ideal. He was a real man who lived in a real world, faced real suffering, and conquered real death. And now, in His resurrected body, He reigns as the ultimate example of what it means to be a man.
As fathers, this is the example we must pass down to our children. In a world filled with false models of manhood—whether the toxic arrogance of so-called influencers or the emasculating demands of modern culture—we must be unwavering in our conviction: Jesus Christ is the standard. Our sons must see in us a reflection of His strength, humility, courage, and love.
To be a man is to be like Christ. There is no greater calling.
