Nothing tests a parent’s relationship with their child like driver’s education.
As the oldest of four, my parents used my driving lessons as an opportunity to refine their critiques and frustrated commentary. Whereas my mom was perhaps overly attentive (holding onto anything that remotely resembled a handlebar, as any good mother would do), my dad was … not. While I appreciate his gratuitous faith in me, it coupled with youthful naivety to create the one very unfortunate incident in my driver’s education career.
It was in my dad’s truck, while he was “attentively” observing me from the passenger seat and I was convinced I was a Formula 1 racer, I hit an oak tree head on. If you’re wondering, the tree was completely fine. The truck was not.
To a 15-year-old with no steady job and not much perspective for the future, it was as dreadful, painful, humiliating, and crushing an experience as you could imagine. My first thought was of my parents’ anger. Then worries of shame began to draw me into a current of defeat and despair.
How could I ever earn their forgiveness? How could I drive again? How could I pay for the tremendous damage?
Abundant grace
A helpful definition for differentiating grace from mercy is that, whereas mercy is not getting what you do deserve, grace is getting what you don’t deserve. God is kind enough to give us both in abundance, and it was through an oak tree He taught a scared, embarrassed, teenage girl to see His abundant goodness and forgiveness.
Thankfully, my parents offered immediate forgiveness after the tree incident – although my driving career did go on hold for some time. It was a mistake, and while mistakes have consequences, they don’t necessarily entail shame, especially under the cover of grace. My parents covered my mistake (with the help of insurance) with a generosity greater than I could ever fathom.
If this world is an imperfect picture of heaven, and I couldn’t (and still can’t) comprehend the grace and forgiveness of my parents, I think we are going to be blown away by heaven. We can’t even imagine the welcome party we’ll receive as we arrive home.
The beautiful thing about grace is there is absolutely nothing we can do to earn it. If there was, it wouldn’t be grace, as Romans 11:6 says, “But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace is no longer grace.”
What made my parents’ gift of grace so impactful upon my 15-year-old mind was that it was free: no strings attached, no prolonged lectures for months afterwards, no contract of indentured servitude with continual reminders of my failure and disappointment. Only grace and the opportunity to start again.
That didn’t mean I was free to drive wherever, whenever I wanted; proper boundaries were instituted so that I did not hurt myself or others again. Grace isn’t a free pass to indulge our flesh or disregard boundaries.
As Paul says in Romans 6:1-2, “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?”
But, after a few weeks, we tried again. They (and by “they,” I mean my mom entirely took over my driver’s education) graciously sat in the passenger seat, coaching and cheering me on. I eventually got my license and was even trusted enough to take my siblings to soccer practice or the grocery store, creating a treasure chest of karaoke and drive-thru memories I’ll cherish forever.
Picture of a perfect Father
God really does work out all things for His glory and our good (Romans 8:28), even when a timid 15-year-old collides with an oak tree. He uses earthly illustrations to teach us heavenly principles, giving us a glimpse into the glorious eternity He holds for us.
God designed us with free will – it’s what enables us to love Him and choose to obey Him as a result of that love. However, when we allow our flesh to overtake our free will, we end up in places we’d never expect. We think we have it figured out and are headed in the direction we think is best but instead end up at the base of an oak tree, hurting and ashamed of the consequences.
Thank God for His tremendous grace. Thank God He loves us enough to not leave us where we are, and thank God His best for us is far better than anything we could ever contrive for ourselves.
The oak tree incident is something my parents and I laugh about today. The shame and guilt are forgotten. Similarly, there is a perfect Father in heaven waiting for His children to run into His arms and cast their burdens on Him because He cares for them. He transforms us into new creations, gives us endless second chances, and calls us higher.
We are no longer slaves to sin (Romans 6:6); He has saved us by grace through faith as a free gift (Ephesians 2:8).
In our flesh, we are bound to run into some oak trees. But we have a gracious, heavenly Father who has already paid our debt. When He looks at us, He does not see our mistakes. He sees children whom He deeply loves. We can boldly approach the Father, because life with Him is life with purpose, peace, and abundant joy.
