Late at night, it was a dark and nightmarish country lane from my cousin’s house to mine. After an evening of playing board games or working on a jigsaw puzzle, this eight- or nine-year-old feared the walk home. On occasion, I did it. But I walked fast and ran scared stiff along the tree-canopied curves and up the hill by our grandma’s house.
About the same age, I petitioned my parents to let me move into a bedroom in our basement apartment that my grandparents had recently vacated. Mom and Dad finally relented, even knowing that someone (they or a sibling) would have to accompany me and stay until I went to sleep.
Personal Foundation
Afraid of the dark? Yes, I was. In retrospect, I admit I probably exhibited a little more fear than is normal for a young boy.
I also came to faith in Christ as a child, and I was serious about growing into a mature follower of Christ. I became intrigued by Scriptures that talked about fearing God, but it was an elusive concept for my young mind.
To be honest, at times, that principle still seems a bit elusive. Thus, recent reading, reflecting, and thinking have unleased fear again to rattle around in my mind from time to time.
I accept that Scripture teaches us to fear God, from the Old Testament to the New. For example, in the Judean wilderness, David wrote, in Psalm 66:16,“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul.”
In Acts 13:26, the good Dr. Luke wrote, “… those among you who fear God, to us has been sent the message of this salvation.” Still, to fear and to love the omniscient God who created me and saved me through His Son seems paradoxical in application
Uncomfortable Confessions
Now, in my senior years, another question annoys me: Do I still allow fear to fester in my heart? Do I fear where my failing strength and health may lead? Do I fear that my finances will not last as long as my body does? Honestly? Yes, sometimes – at least in small measure.
John Donne, the seventeenth-century English poet (1572-1631), declared, “[H]e that fears God fears nothing else.” (Emphasis added.) If that’s true, why doesn’t it work for me?
One of today’s most highly regarded devotional books is Oswald Chambers’ My Utmost for His Highest. Chambers (1874-1917) echoed Donne’s thought with a fitting addition: “[W]hen you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else. (Emphasis added.)
I often wrestle with a dilemma expressed by Richard Wurmbrand (1909-2001), founder of Voice of the Martyrs (VOM). He wrote, “Fear grows like the ripple effect when a stone is tossed in the water. The circle gets bigger and bigger.”
In Whom Shall I Fear?, a new book from VOM, Wurmbrand is further quoted as having observed that fear hinders Christian living, especially in a free and affluent world:
We fear we will have to suffer in our family, in our jobs, in our finances, if we obey a commandment of Christ. We also fear mistakes in life, but the greatest mistake is to fear mistakes.
Yes! That’s me! I fear mistakes!
Present Challenge
My fear – i.e., awe – of God is strong and right. I experience genuine reverence, love, and awe of God in my spirit. But still, I am often plagued by “little” fears. At least, I thought they were little – maybe just simple mistakes, an ignored opportunity to witness, an unvoiced comment or question I have in Sunday school class, failure to reach out with encouragement to someone experiencing trouble or grief.
Those kinds of mistakes occur all too often as I strive to practice my faith in daily life. And Wurmbrand proposes that fearing mistakes is “the greatest mistake” of all. What a challenge!
My favorite contemporary biblical scholar/author/ministry leader is Randy Alcorn, founder of Eternal Perspective Ministries (epm.org). In a 2010 blog titled The Fear of God, he expressed this practical challenge:
The fear of God is a profound respect for His holiness, which includes a fear of the consequences of disobeying Him. It shouldn't scare us out of our wits; it should scare us into them.
I’m challenged by Alcorn’s wisdom, and I resolve to grow in sowing my faith into the opportunities I encounter every day.
Thinking back on my childhood fear of darkness and the fears of life today, I will depend on the assurance of the psalmist who wrote:
He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day (Psalm 91:4-5).
