Considering Life and Words

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. (Psalm 139:13-16)

How do you choose which words you use? Do you use words and phrases based on what the culture is saying? Do you lean toward the words you find in the Bible? Or do you just let your words slip out mindlessly without considering what they mean?

I am a word person. I love words! People who know me probably think I use way too many words – especially my children … and my husband. But whether they like it or not, I love words, and I use a lot of them. So, when words or phrases are used incorrectly, I have been known to correct the user. And to be fair, I do not mind when someone corrects my own incorrect usage. I want to be accurate, and I want to know when I am wrong.

Therefore, in the spirit of accuracy, I have a challenge for the pro-life community. In the desire to be more precise in our terminology, reconsider the use of the phrase “baby-to-be” and all the connotations that go with it.

For context, this is where my thoughts on the phrase began. Many years ago, I was trying to find a card for a baby shower, and I remember noticing a greeting card that included the phrase “baby-to-be.” I thought, “Well, how cool is that?! A card that acknowledges there is a baby – not a blob of tissue or a clump of cells, but a baby – growing inside of the mother!” I was elated!

I think it was several years later before I realized my error … not because there was not a baby growing in the womb, but because of my understanding that from the moment of conception, that tiny, microscopic organism is a human life. It is a human life! It is not becoming a human life … it is not going to develop into a human being at some point in time. That growing, almost-invisible formation is already a separate … living … human, complete with its own DNA that is equipped with the coding for hair color and gender and skin tone and bone structure and a myriad of other characteristics to be revealed over time.

Therefore, saying a woman who is pregnant is a “mommy-to-be” … saying the male side of the equation is a “father-to-be” … saying a sibling, grandparent, uncle, aunt – any of those types of roles with the addition “to-be” … is inaccurate.

In case you are not tracking with me yet, think about the other side of the argument regarding life and its beginning point.

When does the pro-abortion (“pro-choice”) side say life begins?

Some say it occurs when a baby is viable outside of the womb when he/she could live without the mother. (Of course, anyone who is honest understands that a baby cannot live on its own outside of the womb without assistance. Left alone, every baby would die, regardless of the amount of time spent inside the womb before delivery.)

Others of that mindset say that an unborn baby is not alive until delivery. (And believe it or not, there are even some who say that it does not matter whether a baby is alive or not because if a mother does not want the baby, she should be allowed to destroy him or her. Don’t believe me? Do a web search on an article titled “After-birth abortion: why should the baby live?” by Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva.)

When we say “baby-to-be” or “mother-to-be” or “father-to-be” or anything along those lines, what we are signaling by our words is the same as what many in the pro-abortion crowd have been saying all along … that a baby is not a baby until it is born.

Is that really what you mean by using such terminology? If so, then you do not honestly believe that life begins at conception, and you might need to give some thought to where you stand ideologically, politically, morally, and theologically.

But if you genuinely believe that life begins at conception, then reconsider the words you use in relation to the unborn baby. Recognize that the difference between a baby in the womb and a baby in your arms is nothing more than time and location. Nothing gets added into the mix after conception. Unlike the process of making a cake or creating a work of art, everything needed for the formation of human life is already present and pre-mixed by God from the outset.

Along the same lines, regarding our words, can we also decline to say someone is “going to be” a dad or “going to be” a big sister, etc.? Unless we are talking about the process of adoption, in which case there are procedures that must take place before those terms are legally applicable, there is no reason to say that anyone is “going to be” a parent or sister, etc. There is no person who will be any more genetically related to another person at twenty years after birth than at two minutes after conception. I understand that it is hard to relate to the unborn baby when we cannot hold him or her in our arms and kiss those soft little cheeks, but that does not change the fact that if you are related to a baby in utero, you will not become more related to him or her after delivery. If you will be the grandfather of a baby in three months, then you are the grandfather of that baby right now!

Do you consider yourself to be pro-life? Then align your words with your convictions. If you believe that an unborn life is a life from the very beginning, please do not diminish that through your words. Speak life with confidence and boldness. Let your words communicate what God spoke in Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”