Last week I got my feelings hurt, and that’s really putting it lightly. Three times, actually.
One person uninvited me. Rather, told me I wasn’t welcome.
One person accused me and took shots at my character.
And another made me question my worth.
Back-to-back-to-back with no time in between to really lick my wounds.
By the third blow I was so beaten and bruised, it felt like one of those slow-motion hits you see in the movies at the end of a boxing match. The kind where the guy’s eyes are bloodied and swollen shut; his face goes one way, his body the other.
The final blow. I hit the floor. The crowd muffled by the ringing in my ears. Ding, ding, ding.
The battle of emotions left my body physically in pain. Tears ran hot over my lips as my breathing felt labored from the heaviness. For someone who usually wore thick skin, my cloak felt tattered, war-beaten, and thin. Vulnerable.
I was angry, too. These people who hurt me, I loved them. I still love them. I think that’s the worst kind of hurt. The deepest, most brutal.
I was angry because I was tired. Exhausted by pouring into people, loving and cheering them on with the last ounces of energy left in my cup. On my worst day, I gave them my best only to be left broken and alone, gasping for air in the ring.
"I’m done," I thought to myself. "That is the last time I give so much of me to someone else."
A warmth poured over my coldness. “No. No, it’s not.” A familiar voice spoke directly to my hurt, “Don’t let someone else’s bad moment keep you from being a good friend.” It went on, “Worship your way out.”
So that’s what I did. Puffy face and burning eyes, I lifted my hands in my living room and I sang the song of my heart.
I will dwell in the shelter of the Most High God, I will rest in the beauty of your presence. Your faithfulness is a shield and my great reward. I will trust in the Lord. No weapon formed against me will prosper. No weapon formed against me will prosper. No weapon formed against me will prosper. (Dwell, Aaron Keyes)
I sang for what felt like hours. I danced on the disappointment the enemy thought would cripple me.
Not me. Not today. In the name of Jesus.
Jesus is the only one who will never let you down. Not your husband, not your mama, not your best friend, or your brother, Jesus. Only Jesus. You are invited. You have a place here. Because of Who He is, you are worthy; you are welcome. He will never hurt you. You are safe here.
Just when the enemy thinks he has you pinned, get up on your knees and worship your way out.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust (Psalm 91:1-2).
"No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me" declares the LORD (Isaiah 54:17).
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9).
