I drove by what used to be a booming car dealership last week and saw
nothing but a ghost town thanks to Obama taking over the auto industry
and shutting down dissenters. Obama and his lynch mob in Congress have
taken over our health care and turned it into something worse than any
haunted house could portray. They have sunk our economy deeper than
the Titanic, and the amazing thing is he is on the campaign trail for
the Titanic crew – still trying to sell tickets for their disaster
I'm really surprised that among all his "czars," Obama has not
yet appointed anyone to oversee Halloween. Take a look around our
country to get a hint of what that would entail:
- All children would have to obtain a costly permit to allow
them to participate in trick-or-treating activities at least 30 days
prior to Oct. 31.
- All candy collections would be monitored, reported and severely taxed.
- All sugar intake would be subject to government oversight, lunch bag searches and candy confiscation.
- Costumes would be regulated.
- Government candy restrictions would apply.
Under an Obama Halloween czar, the following costumes would be banned:
- Barack Obama: Clearly the scariest costume on the market,
(rivaled only by the Nancy Pelosi mask), has been shown to cause
emotional distress in children and adults alike. Test groups reveal
that many seeing a "Barack Obama" costume are prone to turn off their
lights, lock their doors and rush their personal belongings into
- George W. Bush: The Obama administration would also
declare this costume illegal because homeowners often give those wearing
such a mask at least a double portion of candy. And in the Obama
administration, the freedom of disproportionate distribution (even based
on merit or achievement) is prohibited. Besides, it makes the current
administration look bad, particularly when those children wearing a
George Bush costume are also embraced while homeowners repeat the
phrase, "I miss you! I miss you!"
- All skeletons: also banned because they too closely resemble the results of Obama health care. They fear such reminders could lead to a repeal of the Democrats' socialized medicine.
- Any "Star Wars" costumes, which might fuel "the force" and the empire that, Obama himself admits, is striking back.
- Bums or hobos: Any children wearing costumes with
holes, patches or signs of "poverty" that reflect the Obama double-digit
unemployment rate would be arrested on site.
- The Wicked Witch of the West: The Federal Elections has received complaints claiming that this costume gives the current speaker of the House an unfair door-to-door campaign advantage.
On the banned candy list:
- Pay Day: It is too reminiscent of the free-enterprise system that enables people to actually earn money and keep some of it.
- Good and Plenty: Same thing. Banned because it points
to the success of capitalism and a happier time most of us can all
- Life Savers: Also banned because it makes people think about the tea-party movement and the Republican challengers.
The Obama administration also wants to divert attention away from the
fact that we are sinking in their failed socialist policies and the
deepest in debt we have ever been.
- Tootsie Pops: The candy of the Democratic Party reminding voters of that last election when they were all a "bunch of suckers."
- Bazooka Bubble Gum: Chewing it is like an endorsement of the Second Amendment's right to bear arms.
- Smarties: These are the people who'll be voting Republican this year, and we can't have that.
- Snickers: The sound heard at Obama's campaign speeches still selling socialism as a solution.
- Sugar Daddy is permitted, but would be printed with the Obama seal – to be handed out with government cheese. And, finally,
- Almond Joy: Because sometimes you vote like a nut, this year we won't.
Under an Obama Halloween, in addition to the permits, children must
report all candy intake and leave 96 percent of it at ACORN offices and
various union drop-off sites. They will be redistributed to purchase
votes in the coming weeks. Any leftover candy will be given to those
Obama/Democrat supporters who are unwilling or too lazy to trick or
treat for themselves.
If the government schools still have your children believing that
Obama is worthy of the praise songs they sing, give them a "taste" of
what that really means. After working all night collecting candy, inform
them of all the restrictions and income, sales, health-care, "stimulus"
and other taxes that will leave them with about three candy corns – two
of which you, as parents, are entitled to for "property tax" for their
bedroom in your house.
What's at stake in this election can be communicated to your
little tots as simply as "candy or no candy." "Trick or Treat." Which
do you prefer?